Muggers advice to karate-ka

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Lexxorcist
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Muggers advice to karate-ka

Postby Lexxorcist » Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:44 pm

A torrent of advice on karate from a curious character known as Mugger. I thought a couple of you might enjoy this. :D

Editor. I recently came across this offering from Mugger from 1999. It still made me laugh, and made me think, as it is still relevant today. Enjoy !!

Ladies and Gentlemen of the BWKU. If I could give you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have long been proved by scientists, whereas my advise has no

basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advise now.

Enjoy the power and beauty or your techniques. Nevermind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your techniques until they have faded. Believe me, in 20 years you will look back at photo's of

yourself, unable to recall the possibility which lay before you, and how good you really were. You are not as slow as you imagine.

Don't worry about learning your next Kata. Worrying is about as effective as trying to stop Mawashigeri Jodan with a Gedan Barai. The real trouble with Kata comes once you have learnt the moves. Bunkai

usually hits you at 11am on some idle Sunday.

Do one technique every fight that frightens your opponent. Kiai.

Don't be reckless in other people's Dojo's. Don't put up with other people being reckless in your dojo. Don't waste time when your training. Sometimes you score, sometimes you loose. The fight is long, and in

the end it's only against yourself.

Remember the good lessons, forget the bad ones. If you succeed in doing this it will make you a better Sensei. Have your name embrioded on your belt. One day you will forget it. Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know the bunkai to all the Kata. Some of the most interesting people I know didn't know the bunkai to Ne Sei Shi at 22. Some of the least interesting 40 year olds I know still

don't. Eat plenty of carbohydrate.

Be kind to your knees, you will not be able to kick when they have gone.

Maybe you'll Gak, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll do Roundhouse, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll sweep your Sensei. Maybe you'll do Ku Shanku on your 75th birthday. Whatever you do, don't

congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Everybody's choices are half chances.

Use your body in any way you can. Don't be afraid of it. It is the greatest instrument you will ever own. Abuse other people's bodies in any way you can.

Train. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the instructions. Don't follow them.

Don't read karate magazines they will only make you angry.

Get to know your Sensei. One day he will be gone for good. Be nice to your fellow students, they are the ones most likely to hit you with a Roundhouse.

Understand that students will come and go. For the precious few hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps between age and distance. As you get older the more you have in common with the karate-ka you

knew when you were young.

Train in a Dojo that makes you mentally tough. Don't train in a Dojo that makes you soft. Travel.

Prices will rise, Sensei's will philander with the best looking students and you will get your Dan Grade. When you do you will fantasise that when you were Green belt, prices were reasonable, Sensei' s were

noble and lower grades respected their seniors. Respect your seniors.

Don't expect everyone to teach you. Some will tell you, some will show you. Make sure they can do it themselves. You never know if one really knows. You can't fool everybody all of the time.

Tie your belt as often as you can. By the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful which Sensei's advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advise is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing advise is a way of recycling the past, painting over the ugly bits and selling it on for

more than it is really worth.

A good Sensei will make the advise they give seem original.

But, trust me on the sunscreen. !

Mugger

A classic you will agree. Mugger was last seen walking barefoot into the sunset while playing the tin whistle. Is this the end for Mugger?
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sprout
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Postby sprout » Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:17 pm

thats pretty funny, nice one :D
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stYx
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Postby stYx » Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:21 pm

lol I like that!
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Hatamoto
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Postby Hatamoto » Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:41 pm

Holy crap that's awesome :) I love the song... It's odd that despite changing the words, it's still as beautiful and touching as the original. Also made me laugh in a good few places, such as the Mawashigeri Jodan with Gedan Barai bit, and the "Be nice to your fellow students, they're the ones most likely to hit you with a roundhouse" lol.

I love it, thanks for posting :)
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Postby darkhobo » Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:03 pm

Use your body in any way you can. Don't be afraid of it. It is the greatest instrument you will ever own. Abuse other people's bodies in any way you can.
Good stuff :D
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Lexxorcist
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Postby Lexxorcist » Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:11 pm

darkhobo wrote:Use your body in any way you can. Don't be afraid of it. It is the greatest instrument you will ever own. Abuse other people's bodies in any way you can.
Good stuff :D


Heheh. :D I'm sure that's tounge-in-cheek dojo talk, as opposed to general advice lol.
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