Funny Story

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Jaques

Funny Story

Postby Jaques » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:28 pm

Ok, I know this guy, Alex, cool guy, introduced me to karate (which I'll probs start doin again soon) and he has a brother. Matt's his name, 1st Dan in shoto khan (sp?). Anyway, back when Matt was in Uni, when he was on the highest brown belt (dunno how many there are in shoto, I did wodo) he was in the uni Karate team. He'd just got back from a karate tournament with 4 of his karate buddies and was drinkin in the pub, when a couple of locals (who hated the uni people apparently) started a fight, not knowing who they were trynna pick a fight on. Dunno all the details, but I know Matt ended up succesfully blocking a bar stool swung at his head, there was alot of bruising, but better than being brained. And the rest of the story ends in two very beaten idiots.

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MaZa
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Postby MaZa » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:55 pm

nuns

Heh, deserves them right. :-D
Matti M.

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Skeet
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Postby Skeet » Mon Sep 20, 2004 8:59 pm

Here another one...I was outsidea pub (smoking a spliff! sorry!) near the end of the night. 5 guys ask me if I had a spare cigarette..."Sorry mate..im all out...you can finish this off if you like tho (meaning the dooby, friendly like)..anyway...do I have any money...Nope!...they decided that they would have alook...so i am spun round, against the wall...knife in the middle of my back...being frisked...headbutted etc...so, I hollar " Neil, dave..guys HELP!!! to my group of mates, on the other side of the frosted window im next to...pub door opens..otcomes Neil (medium, kick Boxer) Dave (mahooosive black Boxer, who ended Gary Mason's boxing career) and four other random mates....5 guys get beaten to a pulp...however..i did suffer a slice across my spine..didnt feel it...but, mates pointed out that i was wearinga white short at the front and a red one at the back...its all good tho..was fun to watch...even got my dooby back!!!! :cool:
Patrick Combs wrote:"The documents I had expected to make me cry actually made me laugh out loud. First Interstate Bank of California was abbreviated throughout as FICAL. An acronym pronounced as fecal, not fical, I thought. This is a fecal matter."

Click here for a good read!!


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SKEET-The Pro Paintballing Samurai!!

Jaques

Postby Jaques » Mon Sep 20, 2004 10:31 pm

Skeet wrote:Here another one...I was outsidea pub (smoking a spliff! sorry!) near the end of the night. 5 guys ask me if I had a spare cigarette..."Sorry mate..im all out...you can finish this off if you like tho (meaning the dooby, friendly like)..anyway...do I have any money...Nope!...they decided that they would have alook...so i am spun round, against the wall...knife in the middle of my back...being frisked...headbutted etc...so, I hollar " Neil, dave..guys HELP!!! to my group of mates, on the other side of the frosted window im next to...pub door opens..otcomes Neil (medium, kick Boxer) Dave (mahooosive black Boxer, who ended Gary Mason's boxing career) and four other random mates....5 guys get beaten to a pulp...however..i did suffer a slice across my spine..didnt feel it...but, mates pointed out that i was wearinga white short at the front and a red one at the back...its all good tho..was fun to watch...even got my dooby back!!!! :cool:

Lol. Tis a good story. *Tries to think of another*. Matt told me he used to train with a guy, and they were doing full contact attacks to build up general strength and resiliance against pain. Anywho, Matt does a roundhouse kick at the guys head, who takes it. The guy then does some spinning, jumping reverse roundhouse, I think he called it, into Matt's jaw, who's teeth couldn't meet for a week.

Also, Alex (Matt's brother) was once a tad drunk and he told one of his mates, who had squint nose from an old break, to stick a straw in his mouth so that Alex could kick it out. Alex did an axe kick and hit his friend straight on his nose. Surprisingly enough, he was happy as Alex had kicked his nose back into place.

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Banzai Joe
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Postby Banzai Joe » Wed Sep 22, 2004 1:17 pm

Excellent story skeet.....can just picture the scene....and the spliff....lol...

I have one, dates back to new years eve 1990, the night where fancy dress is customery, especially in Nottingham. I was a werewolf, my m8 a wild hogman. We got set on by 4 dudes in market square. Everyone was drunk.
I was at my peak at kickboxing and easily sweeped one guy off his feet. He lay on the ground for what seemed like ages and i could have finished him off, but i had just enough sobered morals to allow him to get up. I looked across to see a wild hogman punching the bejeezus outta one guy whilst another was climbing on his back. Then i was about to get it on with the other 2, when a copper grabbed me, and flung me in the van. The other 4 tossers legged it. My m8 ran up to the van and a copper said "we're not arresting you, go away!" so my m8 replied "if you arrest him, you arrest me" and promptly starting kicking the everloving crap out of the police van. So they hauled him in too. And i'll tell you guys, we got slapped senseless in the van by these so called keepers of law and order.
We were slung in the cells until all the revelling had died down. Then at about 3am were let out, and as we walked out into the foyer of notts central, we were greeted by a massive cheer and clapping as all the other 'guests' of the constabulary showed their appreciation as a werewolf and wild hogman wandered out of the cells.
We regarded it as one of the most fun nights we'd had on the town.
But will never understand why we were nicked when the other 4 thugs clearly jumped us.....hmmmm!
According to the Nottm Evening Post, there were only 2 arrests made on new years eve.....we like to lay claim to those arrests
Hey-ho....thought i'd share this story with the group.
:???: :twisted:
"A man should never have sexual intercourse with another man. God hates that!" Leviticus 18.

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Satori
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Postby Satori » Wed Sep 22, 2004 3:57 pm

Wow. Amazing karate and kick boxing stories.
It is missing the point to think that the martial art is solely in cutting a man down; it is in killing evil. It is in the strategem of killing the evil of one man and giving life to ten thousand

-Yagyu Munenori-

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Postby Goodgulfthewizzard » Wed Sep 22, 2004 4:48 pm

when i was 16, me and four others were on our way to Bridgend for a 6 hour karate course. All of us, bar my instuctor who was driving, were fully dressed in our karate gear and all of us were black belts. On the motorway on the way up a guy was driving along at about 40mph in the middle lane( :x ). My instuctor was pretty short tempered and so got within a few inches of his rear bumper. The guy tapped his brakes, which is the tactic of someone being tailgated to scare the sh*t outta the person who is tailgatin them. There was much shouting and hand gesturing exchanged between my instructor and this guy. Anyway, this guy decided to follow us all te way to the lesuire centre car park to give my instructor a piece of his mind. He got out of his car and adopted the stance of someone who is about to stick the head in. His face when four fully dressed black belts climbed out of the car was one of the funniest things i have ever seen :-D Needles to say he got back into his car and made a sharp exit without further incident.
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kenshin the endymion
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Postby kenshin the endymion » Wed Sep 22, 2004 7:28 pm

ah heres my two cence:


my mate trev(not his actual name but thats his forum name)is a fellow aikidoka was walking home one day when some fat chav trying to impress his mates started getting all up in trevs face, you know how they do! now trev is a big bloke,couple of months younger than me he is the strongest bloke i know and at only sixteen weighs around 88kg's i think.

anyway trev decided that enough was enough and simply nutted the porker. the porker promtly burst into tears nursing a broken nose, while trev walked home unmosalated. No aikido in that but just trev being trev,really wish i'd been there!!
Steel?

We have no butter but i ask you would you rather have butter or guns?
Shall we import lard or steel? let me tell you....
Preparedness makes us powerful. Butter merely makes us fat.

Lard?

The Prodigy.

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Satori
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Postby Satori » Wed Sep 22, 2004 7:33 pm

kenshin the endymion wrote:ah heres my two cence:


my mate trev(not his actual name but thats his forum name)is a fellow aikidoka was walking home one day when some fat chav trying to impress his mates started getting all up in trevs face, you know how they do! now trev is a big bloke,couple of months younger than me he is the strongest bloke i know and at only sixteen weighs around 88kg's i think.

anyway trev decided that enough was enough and simply nutted the porker. the porker promtly burst into tears nursing a broken nose, while trev walked home unmosalated. No aikido in that but just trev being trev,really wish i'd been there!!


LMAO, guy sounds like a legend :-D
It is missing the point to think that the martial art is solely in cutting a man down; it is in killing evil. It is in the strategem of killing the evil of one man and giving life to ten thousand



-Yagyu Munenori-

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kenshin the endymion
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Postby kenshin the endymion » Wed Sep 22, 2004 7:38 pm

Satori wrote:
kenshin the endymion wrote:ah heres my two cence:


my mate trev(not his actual name but thats his forum name)is a fellow aikidoka was walking home one day when some fat chav trying to impress his mates started getting all up in trevs face, you know how they do! now trev is a big bloke,couple of months younger than me he is the strongest bloke i know and at only sixteen weighs around 88kg's i think.

anyway trev decided that enough was enough and simply nutted the porker. the porker promtly burst into tears nursing a broken nose, while trev walked home unmosalated. No aikido in that but just trev being trev,really wish i'd been there!!


LMAO, guy sounds like a legend :-D



yeah trev is a legend,shame he can't hang around here more, ah the times we have,friends really are the greatest invention in the world.
Steel?



We have no butter but i ask you would you rather have butter or guns?

Shall we import lard or steel? let me tell you....

Preparedness makes us powerful. Butter merely makes us fat.



Lard?



The Prodigy.

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Banzai Joe
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Postby Banzai Joe » Wed Sep 22, 2004 10:04 pm

lmao...TREV for prime minister!
I love the way he studies aikido (the art of peace), yet he used what he knows to work at the right time on the right person. The old glaswegian kiss....sweet!!
"A man should never have sexual intercourse with another man. God hates that!" Leviticus 18.

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kenshin the endymion
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Postby kenshin the endymion » Fri Sep 24, 2004 9:03 pm

yeah trev's good at aikido but naturally he's a brawler type fighter and i'll tell him he's got one supporter for his election campaign :-D
Steel?



We have no butter but i ask you would you rather have butter or guns?

Shall we import lard or steel? let me tell you....

Preparedness makes us powerful. Butter merely makes us fat.



Lard?



The Prodigy.

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Skeet
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Postby Skeet » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:08 pm

This is a good one...gotta be worth the money peeps!

The Queen was visiting one of London's top hospitals and she specified she
wanted to see absolutely everything.

During her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was
Bashing the Bishop.

"Oh my!" said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"

The Doctor leading the tour explains; "I am sorry your Majesty, but this man

has a very serious medical condition and is only following doctors orders.
His body produces too much semen and his testicles

keep overfilling. Until we can find out exactly what is causing this problem

he's been instructed to do that at least 5 times a day or there is a danger
that his testicles will explode, and he would die instantly.

"Oh, I am sorry", said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a
patient a blow-job

"Oh my goodness!", said the Queen, "What on earth is happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, but he's with Bupa".

Patrick Combs wrote:"The documents I had expected to make me cry actually made me laugh out loud. First Interstate Bank of California was abbreviated throughout as FICAL. An acronym pronounced as fecal, not fical, I thought. This is a fecal matter."

Click here for a good read!!




Image



SKEET-The Pro Paintballing Samurai!!

Jaques

Postby Jaques » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:12 pm

Skeet wrote:This is a good one...gotta be worth the money peeps!

The Queen was visiting one of London's top hospitals and she specified she
wanted to see absolutely everything.

During her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was
Bashing the Bishop.

"Oh my!" said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"

The Doctor leading the tour explains; "I am sorry your Majesty, but this man

has a very serious medical condition and is only following doctors orders.
His body produces too much semen and his testicles

keep overfilling. Until we can find out exactly what is causing this problem

he's been instructed to do that at least 5 times a day or there is a danger
that his testicles will explode, and he would die instantly.

"Oh, I am sorry", said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a
patient a blow-job

"Oh my goodness!", said the Queen, "What on earth is happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, but he's with Bupa".


:???: LMAO! Good one.

Cept these funny stories are supposed to be about martial arts 8)

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Skeet
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Postby Skeet » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:34 pm

Hehe!! Sorry...thought it was my Funny's one!! :-D
Patrick Combs wrote:"The documents I had expected to make me cry actually made me laugh out loud. First Interstate Bank of California was abbreviated throughout as FICAL. An acronym pronounced as fecal, not fical, I thought. This is a fecal matter."

Click here for a good read!!




Image



SKEET-The Pro Paintballing Samurai!!


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