Quick Joke

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pjm
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby pjm » Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:46 pm

どたばた appears to be noisy in Japanese, not sure how good it is
If i didn't have bad luck i would have no luck at all

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Moon
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby Moon » Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:06 am

3 women = Noisy in any language. :>
"Wise men speak because they have something to say: fools because they have to say something"...Plato

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Geordie Ross
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby Geordie Ross » Thu Jun 13, 2013 6:29 pm

3 women = noisy in every language lol
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

conner
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby conner » Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:19 pm

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained:

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any f*cking Frenchmen to show it to."
:D
He who worries about tomorrow will not live for today

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Geordie Ross
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby Geordie Ross » Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:19 pm

ROFL! That's one of the best so far.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

conner
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Location: Skipton Yorkshire

Re: Quick Joke

Postby conner » Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:42 pm

Try This one Ross

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here." :D
He who worries about tomorrow will not live for today

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liquidator96
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby liquidator96 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 9:03 pm

Can't beat a blonde joke, :D

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Geordie Ross
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby Geordie Ross » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:50 am

Lol! Another cracker!

liquidator96 wrote:Can't beat a blonde joke, :D

You can beat a blonde at many things.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

conner
Posts: 46
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2012 3:48 pm
Location: Skipton Yorkshire

Re: Quick Joke

Postby conner » Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:14 pm

Here you go Guys its not the best but makes me chuckle every time ;)

A man from Illinois left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife,whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. PS. Sure is hot down here."
He who worries about tomorrow will not live for today

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Moon
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby Moon » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:45 pm

Involuntary Muscle Contraction?

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.
This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood by pointing to a young blonde woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably fishing with his mates.'
:oops:
"Wise men speak because they have something to say: fools because they have to say something"...Plato

conner
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby conner » Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:40 pm

this could happen to anyone


Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout, "Hi Jack!"
He who worries about tomorrow will not live for today

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liquidator96
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby liquidator96 » Mon Jul 08, 2013 6:44 pm

I was looking over the Catholic app on my phone the other day & noticed it didn't have the Ten Commandments on it, apparently I need a Tablet for them...........

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pjm
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Re: Quick Joke

Postby pjm » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:51 pm

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
If i didn't have bad luck i would have no luck at all

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pjm
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Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:33 pm

Re: Quick Joke

Postby pjm » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:56 pm

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.


Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!


Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."
If i didn't have bad luck i would have no luck at all

conner
Posts: 46
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2012 3:48 pm
Location: Skipton Yorkshire

Re: Quick Joke

Postby conner » Tue Jul 09, 2013 6:10 pm

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
:moon:
He who worries about tomorrow will not live for today


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